Embracing Change: A Journey Through Grief and Growth

Grieving isn’t just about letting go; it’s about finding the strength to embrace who we are now. To truly move forward, we must first recognize the good within ourselves and see that growth comes from embracing, not just releasing. Lately I finally made the decision to donate most of my jeans. I often hear big motivational speech about the suffering often rooted from not letting go. But in order to do so, we need to see the good in ourselves right now. Even the tortuous jeans were telling me why not letting go of me?

Everyone has good memories from the past, even the pain and rooted trauma, the idea of releasing often is a so untouchable concept when the current life is much harder to find the quality of joy you use to experiencing. Anyway, it’s great to finally find a type of jeans that works for me now. And nasal mask at one point made me a little uncomfortable, now, I only see it as the way my brain can function. So it’s not an either or question when we are thrown into the situation that we just have to.

Meanwhile, find the beauty of it, as my brain is finally blossoming.

As I continue this journey, I’m learning to celebrate the small victories and recognize the growth that comes from embracing my reality. Learn to accept the state we are in now, so that we can transform into whatever we might become. As I accepted myself being home after months of hospitalizations this year, I am so excited to see how healing just suddenly appears. The subtle difference in my neck position and the alignment I had with my head to the rest of my body, the natural deep breathing just happened all by itself. Maybe he (Dr. Henderson) could have fused more levels on the back (posterior), but I am glad he didn’t. The healing has never happened after they did the surgery. It’s always happening when your entire body has to deal with less inflammation and more balance. Do I believe that I can go back to 2021 and back to walking? I am not sure about that. But I trust the process now for how many things happened in the last few hospitals.

Grief is not a linear process; it’s filled with ups and downs, moments of clarity and confusion. But through it all, I remind myself that embracing change is a sign of strength, but being okay with no changes in the moment is also a sign of strength. It’s about acknowledging our past while actively shaping our future.

So, if you find yourself grappling with the weight of your memories, remember that it’s okay to hold onto the good while also making space for new experiences. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting; it means allowing yourself to grow. Embrace who you are now, and trust that the journey will lead you to beautiful places.

Thank you for joining me on this part of my journey. I look forward to sharing more of my reflections and experiences with you as I continue to navigate this path of healing and self-discovery.